Trusting Your Intuition
It was a sunny day and I was on my way from school to meet some friends somewhere downtown and I decided to take a different route. Someone at some point in my life had told me that as a single girl, I should take a different route every day so that nobody would get any funny ideas to follow me. I wasn’t familiar at all with the neighborhood and halfway in, I realized it wasn’t such a nice place to be walking through. A voice told me to turn around and go into the ice cream parlor across the street and call a cab. It didn’t make sense. I didn’t have cab money. But I did it anyway.
When I crossed over, a man standing in front of the building, smoking a cigarette, looked at me and said “your boyfriend’s right behind you.” I said “What? What boyfriend?” He looked me dead in the eyes and said “don’t look now, but if you ain’t got no boyfriend, then some weirdo’s been following you for blocks. I saw you coming straight up this road.” I don’t know if it was the look in my face or if I actually said something out loud, but he rushed me inside and told me to sit with him and his friends. They were all old men, hanging out at the ice cream parlor on a hot, sunny day. I guess some guy had been following me and got pretty close to catching up when I took the ice cream detour. When I was inside, he pressed his face up against the glass and watched my every move. Creepy doesn’t even begin to describe what was going on. The old men devised a plan to have a cab meet me at the back entrance and they all chipped in. I was terrified that this man was going to catch me before getting into the cab, but as part of their plan, they distracted him while I embarked on my disappearing act. Mortifying. I won’t forget that day. I was 14 years old.
There’s something so powerful in acknowledging that we are not walking alone on this earth-bound journey. I couldn’t have even known this at 14 years old, after all, I was just surviving at this age, but I knew enough to listen to my intuition at all times, because it was things like the ice cream shop incident that made me perfectly aware that I am connected to something. I guess back then I would have said it was God, in a religious way because I didn’t know what spirituality meant in its entirety.
When I walked out of my 18 year marriage, I had been trying to make it work with someone who had checked out a long time before, but there was something special about that morning. Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you suddenly woke up? This is what happened to me. For years I was terrified of being a single mother, the thought of it could put me in a coma, but on this day, suddenly the whole thing just opened up. I knew I was going to be okay. I opened my eyes and realized that was the day that I had had enough. I couldn’t co-exist as this person’s wife and life partner for one more minute because the time had simply come, and I acknowledged and opened myself up to my gut instinct that the universe would take care of me and align me with the tools and people I would need to survive separation and divorce. That was two years ago, and my life has been incredible ever since. It’s been a jumble of pain, love, togetherness, laughter, tears, and so much joy. My life is finally my own again, and that is something I’m so grateful for. But let me be perfectly clear: if I would have lived in a state of fear and ignored this opening that was provided to me, I would have missed it and might have never created it for myself again.
Being connected to your intuition to the point where you can trust the way you’re being guided comes from a few things worth pointing out:
- Deep trust that I have with myself that can make sound decisions and navigate my world experiences with awareness.
- I have to acknowledge where I’m putting my attention and my focus and be responsible for the life I’m manifesting, which also means that I must see the opportunity I asked for when it comes.
- The experiences that I am creating for myself as I grow require me to be in touch with myself on many different levels and that means that I have to continue to work on my personal development and keep looking for new experiences so that I can get really good at knowing what’s happening around me, what energy I am picking up and what vibration I’m operating at.
- I have to step out of fear and logic and trust that my higher self or my spiritual guide is helping me, guiding me. I want to expand on this for a second: this can be something as simple as going back inside your home to check if the burners are turned off on your stove, to missing a massive accident on the highway by a minute or seconds. This is powerful. I have read countless stories of people who *just* missed a random accident and didn’t understand why they had been spared. I think that we all have access to this intuitive side of ourselves and it makes me wonder if this is the link between my soul on this plane and my spirit guide on the other side.
Let me end with another story: in 2005, I was on my way to work in London, England and I was kept behind in my flat for a few extra minutes longer than usual. I was flustered and upset that I was now late and in my haste, six months pregnant, I rushed myself as fast as I could to my tube stop, and as I reached the platform, my tube train doors just closed and off my train went without me. I was a house at six months pregnant and when you’re that size, you get on the same train car every day because you know you’ll see the same people and they all know you’re pregnant so they’ll give you a spot to sit in. I got on the next train, knowing no-one but I got a seat, and a few stops into the downtown core, my train was stalled underground for a while.
Everyone was moaning because we all needed to get to work, and being relatively new to London, I didn’t know how to circumnavigate the city by foot. Nor did I want to – I looked like I was carrying twins and felt like it, too. Suddenly, there was a pop sound. It sounded like a bicycle had run into the side of the tube and then moments later, we were asked to leave the station, were told that there was an electrical problem, and so, armed with the tube map in my hand I pointed out to a service worker that I needed to cross the city from that station to Baker Street. He told me to go outside and pick any bus going in the direction I needed.
When I went outside, it was a matter of picking which bus wasn’t packed full of people because there were hundreds of people walking around, not sure what to do. It was madness. I picked a bus, and chose the elevated seat at the very back, right smack in the middle so that I didn’t have anyone around my giant pregnant belly.
Stalled in foot traffic, the buses and cars on the street couldn’t get anywhere because of the hundreds and hundreds of people walking everywhere. It was like a movie, and still not knowing what had really happened underground, we were all certain that all of the tube stations were closed. In that moment I borrowed someone’s mobile and called my work to let them know I would be late and within seconds of hanging up, there was an explosion behind my bus and when I spun around to look through the back window of my double decker bus, I saw the bus behind me land on the ground and then within seconds, the roof of that bus came down on top of all the people sitting on the upper level. I was mortified. My bus had lifted off the ground from the impact, and suddenly everyone was screaming and running and yelling. I sat still because I didn’t want to be trampled, but when everyone was off the bus, I went to leave and looked back to my left and saw a man through the smoke and debris sitting on the top level of the bus, looking straight ahead. I wasn’t sure if he was dead. The smoke and debris was thick and there were screams all around me. This was July 7, 2005, the day of the London bombings. And the pop sound that I had heard while I was stalled on the train was my train that I missed that morning, that I was on every morning, exploding underground at the stop just ahead of mine. The car I sat in every morning blew up and I believe everyone at the front of that car, where I sat, died that morning. The bomb that went off on the bus behind me was a suicide bomber who didn’t have the guts to detonate on the tube, so instead he went to the street and detonated his bomb on the bus behind me, which was one of the three buses I had to choose from moments before.
I wanted to share this last story with you to impress upon you the very strength and power of listening to our intuition and being deeply connected to ourselves, our self worth and then acting on that deep trust. Twice in one day, inside the space of less than an hour, I avoided death.
There are no coincidences in this life and at the same time we are responsible for our awareness and our consciousness and how we use the tools we have been given to explore this journey effectively. xo